Pretty Good
I don't really know if I'm qualified to review an Industrial song, as A) I don't particularly like the genre and B) I don't even know the genre, but here we go anyway.
First off, positive stuff: it builds up slowly, but well; even though this is a different genre than the one I work in, I learned a lot from listening to this closely. I need to find out how to steadily increase note velocity/volume in Fruity Loops. I also learned that I don't need to end a song by losing instruments one at a timet; building it up and just leaving it worked well in this song.
About the instruments chosen; to be honest, I hate this much distortion on instruments so I won't say anything more about that because I just don't appreciate that part of this song. I love the drums though; you only changed them (twice?) throughout the whole song, so maybe a little more variation just to mix it up a bit. I like the guitar too; it was simple, but it sounded good.
About the structure; forgive me if I'm wrong and I missed something (it's a long song!), but the way I see it is: drum rhythm A, bass, lots of new instruments with drum rhythm B , back to drum rhythm A with new instruments, back to drum rhythm B with the same instruments you used last time with B, back to drum rhythm A with the same instruments you used last time with A, and so on and so forth. There were some volume changes, sure, which helped build up the transition from A to B or the other way around, but still, not too much variation. I don't know if that's an important part of the genre or not.
Also, about the last thirty seconds being "killer"; it sounds much like 1:40 except louder :P if there are many more instruments there, they're hard to hear over the distortion.
All in all:
7/10 for instruments.
8/10 for structure, because I like the build up and ending.
9/10 for effort, because you used actual instruments and I can't write guitar parts to save my life.
8/10, 4/5 overall.
Thank you for the review!